Now you see it, Now you don't

So life has been interesting the last few days needless to say...
Let me first start out on my biggest project I have going for myself right now.
In the winters I ride bike at Renegade Skatepark, it's indoor and all the ramps are man sized... I mean pretty big..
When I was given the oppertunity to get the place to have a contest I knew I could do something that would leave an impact. When I first started riding bikes I knew I wanted to be apart of as much as I could, I actually tried harder than hell to make sure what I did left a mark... I started out at a young age throwing contests, my first one was at silverlake skatepark like 5 years ago.. maybe more than that even? I don't remember.. I got so many people involved it was a great time.. then I moved on to bigger things, and for 3 years in a row I threw down The Bike Bash at Board To Death skate shop/park.. Thats where I learned that if what your trying to do is positive, people will support it.
Fast forward a few years, I am repping as much as I can to make an impact that is on a world wide scale..

*click to make big


That right there would be nearly 30,000 unique visitors from 98 countries.. and thats with in the last 3 months on my website http://www.bmxunion.com

maybe I have made an impact? maybe not... I am just saying I have done something.
So now I am in charge of promoting and getting sponsors for this event... You don't even realize how many people will help out a good cause, and how crazy it is to really realize that I have made some friends all over the place just because I took the time to say hey, I support what you are about. I am looking at in just the last week over 12 new sponsors for this contest and more in the works...
I am just trying to throw a contest people will remember and say it was worth their time and it was something positive.

That is just my goal...

So yeah onto another thought... I guess right now it sucks since sometimes you find things that are really important to you and you would do anything to make it work out... But sometimes you gotta just let things work themselves out, and allow them to do what they feel is best for them... It is a hard lesson to learn in life to put other peoples needs and wants infront of yours when it is truely important to you. I would try to explain what I am going through but I am sure everyone has experienced that rejection once in their life... maybe not on as harsh of terms, or maybe in even harsher terms...
I guess I just am too optimistic sometimes, and realize that sure I might be having a bad day, but what is my bad day is somebodys good day?
I just want to be able to look back on my past and say I did the right thing, and didn't let my head, or even heart get ahead of me you know? It is always hard to give up the important things but then again I guess I am still young and have a whole lot of life left to learn from.
I want adorexia.. I have talked about this a lot.. its the ability to not have fear or anxiety.. I think I am getting better at completely understanding this...
I realized I am not scared anymore when I am put into awkward situations... and I don't find much anxiety when I am in a weird situation... I just kind of brush it off?
I think once I graduated from High School I really found a clear picture of how to identify what is important to me, what is a threat to my future, and how I can make it so my life is meaningful so that when I am like 80, I can go... damn I did my best and it took me to some cool new things.. Its kind of like that ELO song.. Hold on tightly to your dreams..
If you want it, make it happen!


So onto another thing on my mind right now...
Today I posted (well actually it was like midnight last night) an interview with a kid who rides bike on my other site, that a lot of people know, and its caused kind of a different thing. People are on two sides of the fence... he discusses leaving a sponsor for some reasons... Now there are kids who support this kid for his decision, then there are kids who support the company he left. I however am friends with both sides of the fence.. It makes me see that sometimes people just over react when they see a confrontation between two parties and feel their 2cents is much needed..
However, I realized maybe I ripped open a healing wound.. or even dug it up since it was some what passed..
To be honest... sometimes I wish I could just do what I do now for my whole life and make a living off of it.. I love doing interviews with these people and finding out what their all about. Its so weird to think that if you get somebody to open up you might find out some wild things you would never suspect on the surface..

So this is me.. My thoughts.. If you made it this far I am shocked, and sorry if your brain hurts..