Wrote the Book

With school already a week in I am slowly getting myself back in the groove and swing of things. It just sucks being in school when you are doing just fine without it ya know? Well, okay I am doing okay now but in a few years that degree will be nice to have.
So what does the title "Wrote the Book" have to do with anything... Well, lone and behold I got shot in the foot this week, not litterally. On my first day of my economics class I am sitting there, in the super comfy chairs, looking at the cover of the book. I look at my teachers name on the board, look back at my book, look back at the board, back at my book. My jaw drops. Why?
Well, let me as you this: What is worse then having a teacher that knows what they are talking about?
Answer: A teacher who wrote the book! Litterally. My teacher is one of the writers of "one of the best selling economics books in the world" according to him that is.
Sure! I know college is suppossed to be hard, and being a business administration major I need to understand economics but seriously? How does somebody get stuck with the teacher who wrote the book! Backfire.

So that is my story of the week. This guy below kind of looks like him.

That looks firmiliar

"That looks firmiliar" .. "Where did you get it?"
"I found it..."
What am I talking about? Well, probably the new game I am all for doing now days.
I don't know if you are aware of this, but skateparks attract shady people. Esspecially young kids who steal... kids who steal bikes...
So what I am a cruel person who has way too much fun messing with people, this is entertainment!
So, today some shady little asian kids who are on a bike covered in spray paint. They are my target for torment. My two buddys Tyler and Sean mention how they are willing to bet the bike these kids roll up on is stolen. I am positive it is.. So I decided this game needed to be tested. So I roll on over by them and look at the bike like it looks real firmiliar and I am not sure why... This is the conversation:

Me- "Hmm, that bike looks super firmiliar and I don't know why?"
Asian kids- "Oh, well.. thats cool."
Me- "My little brother actually had a bike just like that... It got stolen not too long ago. Where did you get it?"
Asian Kids- "I uhh.. it's mine"
Me- "Weird, it looks just like my brothers."
Asian kids-"Oh, well what kind of bike is it?"
Me- "I don't remember, it was a cheap bike he got at Target.. Just like that one."
Asian kids- "Oh, well this is a Next, so it isn't it"
Me- "Next's are sold at Target, and they are cheap. I worked in a bike shop I know these things."
Asian kids-"Oh, well I see.."
Me-" Yeah, it is that bike.. I put that quick release seat post clamp on there.. it is just covered in green spray paint now.."
Asian kids- silent, just look at each other pretty worried they are busted.. then they say "Well, we found it at the park right over there one day it was there for a few days, so we didn't steal it"

I roll away just to get the full reaction effect I was looking for and sure enough I got it. The kids took off out of the skatepark pedaling at mach 10 and they were gone.
I only did that for a few reasons, one they were punk kids all decked out looking gangster as hell trying to be tough. Two, they made the bike look stolen by covering it in spray paint. Three, I was bored and that is pure good entertainment.

So that is my excitement for today.. while were on the topic of bike theaft, here is a video...

Obesity and Shoppers

I have worked retail for a little over two years now and one thing that has really bothered me in that time is the mess left behind by shoppers. Especially the ones who are just a little.. bigger. That is an oxymoran right? Little bigger? Sorry it is the A.D.D

See the problem really isn't the size, it is the way people shop. I mean if you have worked retail it is obvious because those people usually don't flip over a whole stack and leave every piece touched and mangled to get to your size destroyed in anger that you had to do a little work to get the one you want. I mean don't get me wrong those extra small and small people do that it just doesn't leave 20 extra shirts to be fixed.
I was also thinking about how easy it is for those smaller people to shop since if you didn't know retail standards suggest going smallest to largest which makes obvious sense I would hope. Especially because they didn't build the pyramids of Egypt smallest to largest on top. That would be cool to see though right?
So back to my point...
These smaller shoppers save a lot more time then these bigger shoppers because they really just have to grab whatever they want off the top, or the front row of stuff hanging. It is pretty simple and easy. Where as if you are the larger sizes you have to dig.. and dig.. and apparently flip over and mangle every size you can't fit into to make youself feel better? I don't know why they do what they do. I am just the dude who comes in behind them and has to re-fold all of it.
I am sure this might cause some issues but seriously, it is funny if you think about it.
"Why do bigger people have to shop like they eat?"... I in no way shape or form came up with that. I seriously heard a customer who was mad that all the smalls and mediums were flopped and destroyed so don't be pissed at me.
This post isn't a attack on the over weight or anything I just think it is super annoying what happens to the clothes I have to deal with almost daily.

Another thing that bothers me is when people take off the top shirt to look at the logo, flop it all up. Throw it on the shelf, and then grab their size. Then to realize they don't want the shirt anymore. TWO for the price of NONE wow. Good deal eh?
Or even in some cases the people who take the size they need out, look at it and flop it all up.. then grab the next nicely folded one in their size and buy that one. Really? Is your shirt destroyed after you unfolded it. Well, yeah it is destroyed but that is just for me because I have had to fold that specific shirt 20 times today because the pretty colors attracted you.

Ah while I am on that topic. What is it with people who see me fold a whole shelf and get it all nice that attracts them to litterally grab the stuff I just folded and mess it up again to see what all the excitment was over those shirts that just got fixed. Seriously people, I am going to freak out.

Finally, my attack on the skinny people. The ghetto, and those little white punks who think they are black. What is with wearing XXL! really? come on we have dresses over there if you want a dress. I don't get why somebody would want a shirt that is five sizes too big. I mean sure I understand why they have that size, but that is for those people who are a little big and that is cool if they wear it. I just don't see how wearing that stuff makes you a gangster, or hardcore, or whatever the hell your trying to be.

Then again I guess your not wearing girls or super skinny jeans... stupid EMO kids.

A Thrown Fist

Alright, so I finally remembered to go right to my laptop after waking up from a pretty rediculous dream. I normally forget stuff if I take my time.
So! If you know me... You will know that I am really not much of a fighter at all, not very strong, not very coordinated, usually pretty worn out after that kind of physical activity. Don't get me wrong I am not out of shape...much...but I just have never been one to want to fight or do anything along those lines I guess.

So last night there was a pretty weird situation happening to somebody really important to me and it made me mad because of how unfair he was being and I really wanted to punch this guy... So now the dream begins..

For some weird reason I was driving down the highway except it was pouring rain. It was really bad and I couldn't see the road but I kept going which clearly made sense. Well, since it was a dream and everything nothing could go wrong.
Eventually I, or we, I don't remember if anyone was with me or not but I feel like there might have been. We pulled off at a McDonalds. If that isn't weird enough because I haven't eaten there in close to two years. If you know where I am from there's a town in Minnesota called Cannon Falls just off of highway 52 with a McDonalds and I think that was the one I stopped at.

Here is the weird part, the place turns into a house. We are standing infront of this house in the rain. I look to my left and here comes this guy out of the corner saying "Where are you!" I just remember saying "Shit, I need to take this guy down" and I took after him.
The first thing I do is jump on the guys back and put him in a head lock, and flop him to the ground. I give him a few good cracks to the face and get him a little loopy.
For some reason in my dream I was the one who knew what I was doing if that makes any sense, he just kind of slapped and pushed and would miss when he swung.
Eventually, out of no where there was rope (which obviously happens in dreams that "out of nowhere effect"). So I tie this guy up except I don't think I did it to Boy Scouts standards. I tie him up with his arms to his ankles so he is in a scorpion kind of ball like knot mess.
So he is craddled up rocking on his belly yelling some pretty rediculous stuff. You know, those unbacked up threats to scare people into doing things when in all actuallity they would end up in more trouble then what they originally would be in. Especially for somebody on parole.
So the cops come and hear the story of his latest threats and harassments and he is taken away. The rain stopped, and it was weird because right as that happened...

I wake up to roofers pounding on my neighbors roof a few houses down and yelling about who has the best nail gun? Honestly, go back to bed people it is 8:21 in the morning and you are on a roof argueing about something that isn't even worth your energy, or mine to listen! As I hear the pounding noise in the background right now.

So, that is my dream... I hope your confused!

Changing Directions

Wow, it has been sometime since I have made a post on here. Which is sad because of how much time I spend online working anyways. What do I mean by "changing directions" well let me explain, this blog originally had no "direction" and the other morning it hit me. Every morning when I wake up, immediately come here and write about my dream the night before.
I don't know if anybody does that already, but I am sure somebody does. It is a pretty easy thing to write about at least. Maybe what I will do is spin off and add to the stories even if it didn't happen in my dream you know?
I don't know. I just know that it has become apparent I need to start blogging on here again and that is a good way to produce.
That is the "changing direction" of this blog. I wonder if it will take off? I don't know, I really don't care. It will just be fun to see if I can keep it up!

Check back soon for a dream. I will have a dream.