Ironic life

So I was thinking about this when I made my last post and I don't exactly know where I am going to go with this, but it might get interesting...

So have you ever had that moment in your life where something was just always popping up.. like, a song that just happens to be on everytime you are in your car? or you think about something and then it happens?
you know those weird ironic things...

So okay.. heres where I want to start.. I am not religious at all.. well, I am, I was brought into the christian faith because thats what my mom is and all of her family, but like, I was never confirmed or anything like that.. I never really went to church much growing up either...
I don't know what you are, but whatever it is.. it works for you thats cool.
So... my life is a little weird, I feel like all these people fight over who is wrong and who is right.. When nobody can prove that anybody is right of "Who god is"... what if it is the same dude (or girl) and just the story got distorted as time goes on, you know how rumors go.. Then people wrote books, then it was set in stone there was all these different views and yet, nobody can legitimatly PROVE who is right..
So here it is.. I believe there is a god, well, might be one. I don't believe there is a true place for who or how he came about. Maybe it is just a dude, no son, no virgins, nothing.. just a dude (or girl) who looks over people or created everything. Sometimes I ask for things... sure it is selfish, but I didn't say what I asked for... but here is the weird thing, sometimes those things I ask for happen.
I mean I some of the things are embarassing and I am sure you are sick of this last few posts me talking about girl issues.. but I asked for that, and then I met a girl.
Sure it didn't work out, but weird how that happend... It has happend for other stuff too but I can't think of a situation or do I want to share any..
But I don't know, maybe it is just luck or timing or something.. I am just saying that is just what I think, I am not going to say your wrong if you think differently.

So it is weird though, I started seeing this commercial for that "I wont write you a love song" about the same time as I started seeing this girl.. and I heard it on the radio litterally everytime I was in my car.. SOMETIMES 2 times (different stations)... but then when that whole thing ended.. so did the music.. I haven't heard it in over a week... how weird is that?
like for real.. how weird is that?
I don't know.. it is really ironic.

Here is a funny one I think is weird...
about a week ago I was in the hospital, yeah scroll down and read all about that one.. but this is ironic.. a few days before that had happend I had gotten in an arguement about health insurance, she just thought it was so dumb to pay so much and me never having to use it (no there wasn't going to be a discontinue ya know just gotta complain)... I jokingly said "well than I will go and get hurt! and make it worth while.."... well sure enough a few days later I am talking to a doctor and looking at chest x-rays...


I don't know... A lot of ironic things happen to me, a lot of good things happen to me.. a lot of things I wish that wouldn't happen, happen. But life goes on, I am not dead, I am not sad, I am not anything.. I am neutral.
That's just the way it is.
I have no problem with that either.

adorexia

adorexia is a condition I first heard about from the movie Lucky Number Shlevin...
It basically is a state of mind where you have no fear or anxiety.

Okay? so it is a state of mind, what is this a zen moment?
No... but I got thinking about it when I first heard about it and then it slowly turned into an obsession.
So I got thinking about it; is there a way to actaully achieve this?
adorexia would be no joke if it was a legit thing. I don't know if it really is, but the idea of it is this dream to me almost.

Imagine being able to look at your biggest fear and it wouldn't even phase you. Imagine being in a relationship and then the girl (or guy) decided to go back with their ex and you had really little to no emotional distress to it.
Imagine being able to just constantly be in a balanced state of mind that just never had like high stress or depression?
That basically would be what adorexia would be.

I say adorexia is my dream... but I feel like, okay I might sound a little crazy, but I feel like I might be getting closer to it. I know there is ways to completely like control your body in different ways ya know like tantric stuff and like what the buddist dudes did or do? (I think thats who I am thinking of)
So why couldn't I do this? I mean as of right now I don't drink. I have never smoked, I have never done a drug in my life, and I am physically in shape. I feel like I would be in a pure state of some sort that would help with it right?
I used an example above in the "Imagine" section of a relationship, I had a situation, we weren't exactly together but I mean it was close enough I guess.
When the news broke it didn't even really phase me all that much. Yeah I was bummed a bit because I felt that she was a very important part of my current life. It sucks being shafted, however I start to realize I wasn't on the same page as her and I think it is easy to get over it. But maybe it is adorexia? maybe I am just not phased because I just have some sort of control over my emotions?

I don't know... I just thought of another thing to talk about in another post, I have nothing going on so I think I will post my thoughts.

So. Adorexia. Is it real? I don't know... Do I want it to be real? yes.
Will I ever actually experience it... who knows? I am sure I will let you know when I for sure know.

Now you see it, Now you don't

So life has been interesting the last few days needless to say...
Let me first start out on my biggest project I have going for myself right now.
In the winters I ride bike at Renegade Skatepark, it's indoor and all the ramps are man sized... I mean pretty big..
When I was given the oppertunity to get the place to have a contest I knew I could do something that would leave an impact. When I first started riding bikes I knew I wanted to be apart of as much as I could, I actually tried harder than hell to make sure what I did left a mark... I started out at a young age throwing contests, my first one was at silverlake skatepark like 5 years ago.. maybe more than that even? I don't remember.. I got so many people involved it was a great time.. then I moved on to bigger things, and for 3 years in a row I threw down The Bike Bash at Board To Death skate shop/park.. Thats where I learned that if what your trying to do is positive, people will support it.
Fast forward a few years, I am repping as much as I can to make an impact that is on a world wide scale..

*click to make big


That right there would be nearly 30,000 unique visitors from 98 countries.. and thats with in the last 3 months on my website http://www.bmxunion.com

maybe I have made an impact? maybe not... I am just saying I have done something.
So now I am in charge of promoting and getting sponsors for this event... You don't even realize how many people will help out a good cause, and how crazy it is to really realize that I have made some friends all over the place just because I took the time to say hey, I support what you are about. I am looking at in just the last week over 12 new sponsors for this contest and more in the works...
I am just trying to throw a contest people will remember and say it was worth their time and it was something positive.

That is just my goal...

So yeah onto another thought... I guess right now it sucks since sometimes you find things that are really important to you and you would do anything to make it work out... But sometimes you gotta just let things work themselves out, and allow them to do what they feel is best for them... It is a hard lesson to learn in life to put other peoples needs and wants infront of yours when it is truely important to you. I would try to explain what I am going through but I am sure everyone has experienced that rejection once in their life... maybe not on as harsh of terms, or maybe in even harsher terms...
I guess I just am too optimistic sometimes, and realize that sure I might be having a bad day, but what is my bad day is somebodys good day?
I just want to be able to look back on my past and say I did the right thing, and didn't let my head, or even heart get ahead of me you know? It is always hard to give up the important things but then again I guess I am still young and have a whole lot of life left to learn from.
I want adorexia.. I have talked about this a lot.. its the ability to not have fear or anxiety.. I think I am getting better at completely understanding this...
I realized I am not scared anymore when I am put into awkward situations... and I don't find much anxiety when I am in a weird situation... I just kind of brush it off?
I think once I graduated from High School I really found a clear picture of how to identify what is important to me, what is a threat to my future, and how I can make it so my life is meaningful so that when I am like 80, I can go... damn I did my best and it took me to some cool new things.. Its kind of like that ELO song.. Hold on tightly to your dreams..
If you want it, make it happen!


So onto another thing on my mind right now...
Today I posted (well actually it was like midnight last night) an interview with a kid who rides bike on my other site, that a lot of people know, and its caused kind of a different thing. People are on two sides of the fence... he discusses leaving a sponsor for some reasons... Now there are kids who support this kid for his decision, then there are kids who support the company he left. I however am friends with both sides of the fence.. It makes me see that sometimes people just over react when they see a confrontation between two parties and feel their 2cents is much needed..
However, I realized maybe I ripped open a healing wound.. or even dug it up since it was some what passed..
To be honest... sometimes I wish I could just do what I do now for my whole life and make a living off of it.. I love doing interviews with these people and finding out what their all about. Its so weird to think that if you get somebody to open up you might find out some wild things you would never suspect on the surface..

So this is me.. My thoughts.. If you made it this far I am shocked, and sorry if your brain hurts..

Swollen Lung Wall Bruised ribs and a collapsed lung

So the title maybe isn't the most appealing title in the world. However that is my life right now. The other night while practicing for a BMX contest I have coming up I crashed on my bike REAL good. I was in the air and took my hands off (a no hander) and on my way back down I grabbed with my left hand and wiffed with my right hand (I missed!) and came crashing down onto my chest.
So I felt very weird, my whole left side was in pain, I had gotten up and laughed it off because well, thats just me. Tried to ride around for a bit more and well nope it was too much. So eventually I make my way home, shower, change, and then make my way to the emergency room.... STOKED! psyche.. I am impossible to go to the doctor because I can usually just self diagnose what the hell I did wrong, but this time I felt like I had burst a valve on my heart or something haha.
So I get some X-rays and the doctor is like yeah,
"well your lungs and heart look healthy.. However, it would appear you temporarily collapsed your lung...."
Collapsed my lung? I would have noticed?...
"No, you would be surprised it isn't so bad if you got the other lung running and your in shape."
Okay... and what else?
"Your lung wall (a layer of liquid between your lungs and rib cage to protect them from you know, destroying each other) is swollen and that explains the pain when your trying to breathe.. Also you have 2 or 3 ribs that are bruised."
Okay, so... what do I do?
"Well, there really isn't anything you can do, just take some ibprofin and take it easy for a few days"
Awesome. I am glad I am not dying, however I am bummed I am paying so much for that haha (I didn't say that to him!)

So that is my exciting life.. It has been about 3 days since and I am feeling pretty good, Ironically my shoulder which I seperated a while back is on the left side, and well that hurts now too so I am concerned I might have goofed that up again, but whatever I am going to go with it and just move on like I always do with injuries.

So, that is my story for you.. the whole.. nobody who reads this crap.

Alternative Fuels

HYBRID DIESEL, GTL, Hydrogen, and I am sure theres more I don't even know..

SO let me just say right now, I am pissed.
I am pissed that gas is as expencive that it is.
I am pissed at what fossil fuels do to the enviroment.
I am pissed you think I am some hippy right now haha.
I am not pissed that stuff might actually get done soon.

So first off.. Hybrid Diesel... Volkswagon has a car.. They have a hybrid that is a diesel that gets 70 Miles Per Gallon.. This car is awesome, if all cars did this gas prices would drop like the stock market.. I mean.. like a bunch of rocks out of a plane.. yeah.. not the stock market thats on the rebound (I hope!)
Now this car is great, it gets great mileage and is a creative good thing that could greatly fix the world.
Heres the downside.. It will be atleast 2 years before the car even hits America.
WHAT THE EFF!!!! get that thing over here right meow. I want that car SOO bad. People will buy them, the economy will benefit from them. and Volkswagon can make even more money.. weird. Lets rock and roll!

GTL.. now GTL means gas to liquid.. They take natural gas, which we have a great amount of, infact something like it would be impossible to run out of it? It is super clean and everything, however its not going to be in mass supply until 2010... and then it will just be mixed with unleaded or diesel gas anyways.. However it will help! It just sucks that it will only be in the massive huge cities first.. and then it will branch out as the supply goes up I would imagine?

Now, Hydrogen gas.. OKAY BEST SOLUTION EVER.. BEST.
BMW has a car that can run on hydrogen and gas. It gets 180 miles on the hydrogen, and 220 on the unleaded fuel. Sweet.. perfect.. 400 miles on a tank... thats a huge step considering hummers get what.. 80 miles to a tank?

so now... I am all for GTL and Hydrogen, the diesel is just a temp thing I am stoked on because I know that wont solve the issue completely.

So here is my question.. If we can do the hydrogen, lets just DO IT.. start up manufacturing plants, transportation plants, start converting gas stations to hydrogen stations.. Lets convert cars, lets start only producing cars that run on it.
Okay. Sweet.. easier said than done.. I KNOW!
and with the way the world is ran, theres some people who wont let us get away from their main source of money (Oil).
So..screw them, they have TOO much money and they could make money off hydrogen, sure not as much but who cares its still an income to sit on their ass and sell something everyone would need.. Just don't screw us on $3 a gallon.. since we can't run out of hydrogen haha.


THERE WE GO.. if only I had the power to do this.

blog comeback part duece

so.. I screwed up again.. I got lazy..
Yes.. me.. Kurt, went and stopped blogging..

well I didn't stop blogging, I just started getting busy.

so lets see.. in the last few.. weeks :\ whoops..

I have..

Got involved with a bunch of stuff for my other website bmxunion.
I got involved with a contest and I am the head promoter.
I am practicing for a other contest next sunday.. not this one.
I have been going to school. Slacking slightly =\
I have been working.. a lot....ish.
I have gone on spring break.. right now.
well.. it started last thursday today is tuesday.
So I am sitting.. well laying.. in my bed in my room on tuesday night.. why?
no school tomorrow? yeah, no school.. but I am getting lame.. and old.. I don't want to party or get crazy.

I just want to get stuff done and be comfortable..

I also started seeing a girl.. however, shes two hours away at her college.. It sucks. but shes awesome.

I am busy busy busy.. and I already did a bunch of internet stuff today.. so I am going to complain..

actually no..

I am not going to complain.
I am going to say sorry for right now, and update tomorrow... I hope..
I mean I promise..

uh yeah.