If I could fly

You never really realize exactly how complex life is until you step back and see it from a different perspective. You get so set in your daily life and ways that when a major alteration is made you find yourself confused and unsure what you want.

In a short amount of time, litterally about two weeks. I have altered my life in so many ways I doubt I will even realize it till I put it in words..

Lets start out simple.. After a year and a half I have decided to leave both jobs.. Why? Well, because oppertunity arose and instead of just saying nah.. I took it. I stepped out on a ledge and jumped. It sucks, because the reactions I got from my bosses were what made it hard to leave. I mean I really do work hard and try my best to make sure I am getting what I am suppossed to be done, while having a good time. It was hard when they both were disappointed, yet understanding enough to let me go. I mean I even got offered a going away party.. That shouldn't happen in retail.

With that, I have had some oppertunities to work online and really get some work done with my real true love of writing. Sure, I don't always write the best but that doesn't mean I can't do it right? I also have been offered a job doing real work around a trucking companies shop where my brother is a mechanic. It will be good to just do something new and crazy.. and probably make more money. I say probably because it is up to me to make things happen, not the other way around like usual.

The next big twist to life is back to school. My second year of college! It is weird to think that it has already got that far in a blink of an eye. I think I will like my classes and should be able to focus on it better than last year. Sure, it was real hard getting back on schedual these last two weeks but it is good to have structure and keep things organzied. My god was it weird to think it has been 3 months since I had seen a lot of people who I see and talk to on a daily basis last year and this year. I like it, it has really helped me keep myself going.

I will keep this one short, basically I lost the girl who meant a lot to me and that through me off. I expected it to happen and I am doing my best to just move on. You can't expect all good things to last right? Add it to the lists of pressures in the last two weeks.

The stress levels I haven't been bad enough yet. You better believe I got more. I am going to Las Vegas September 21-28. It will be a lot of firsts for me. First time flying, first time farther south than Chicago, first time I will meet a lot of people who have helped me get into the BMX industry. The first time I will party like a champ in months. I am scared, but I at least have my mom to keep me motivated since she truely believes it will be a good experience for me. I believe that 100% and cannot wait till the 28th to say thanks for keeping me on track. It is and will be an amazing oppertunity.

I have been realizing a lot of things I want in my life someday too. I have started setting goals for myself and I am going to try hard to stick to it. Here are a few things I want to accomplish: Once college is done, buy a house. Yes, that is an expencive thing but it will be needed. I got time to save up and figure out what I truely want. I want to figure out exactly what I want to be when I "grow up"... I always keep coming back to a financial advisor, maybe that is just my thing. I don't know who knows what I will want to be in a month. Keep myself positive and ready for whatever comes my way. Thanks.